Having not been alive in the 60's, I've always assumed life during that time was exactly like Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Whether or not this long-held assumption was accurate in any way was totally irrelevant to me. Free love, crushed velvet, and lots and lots of mini-skirts make for an excellent decade as far as I'm concernced. Some people may argue Mad Men is a better portrayal, but to those people I offer the following clip.


I know what you're thinking: a fairly innocuous clip which exemplifies the ridiculous, slapstick comedy of the Austin Powers franchise. But you'd be wrong. There was perhaps no more historically accurate scene in the entire trilogy. Because once upon a time America planned to BLOW UP THE MOON! Take a quick glance at this CNN article outlining Project A-119 aka America's Plan to Show Those Commie Bastard Soviets Who Swings the Biggest Cock by Detonating the Most Destructive Weapon Ever on the Pretty Bright Thing in the Night Sky. I literally don't think I've ever been more proud to be an American.
By the time I came into this world, both sides in the Cold War were picking up their complimentary gift bags and searching for their coat check tickets. That meant I never got to experience the most zealous patriotism America had seen since Thomas Jefferson was more than just some guy angry Tea Party candidates quoted. Reading this article on Project A-119 made me feel, in a small way, connected to this great period of American history. Because only in times of extreme Patriotic ecstasy could we come up with a plan this ridiculous and this uniquely American.
Keep in mind Project A-119 was not intended to obliterate the moon like a near-Earth Alderaan. Even for America, that would have been a bit too brash. Not to mention it would have made every surfer in the world totally suicidal. No, the plan, if something so ridiculous can be called a "plan," was to detonate a nuclear missile on the surface of the moon so the Russians would see the bright flash and quiver in their little space boots at the awesomeness of America's nuclear power. I have to give the Air Force generals who came up with Project A-119 an A for effort, an A for originality, and a pink slip for almost blowing up the damn moon.
All in all, I'm glad this story came out. It's proof to the rest of the world that America has been and still might be well beyond crazy.When it comes to nuclear weapons, we're very much like a toddler with a handgun. I'd like to thank President Eisenhower for always keeping it real, and Austin Powers for continuing to shine its unflinching light on the truth.



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