Hannibal
Editor's Note: Summer is nearly here. Basketball season is nearly over. It's time for the Spectavius pendulum to swing back to movies and TV. Please accept our sincerest apologies those of you who read this site for stuff ofther than sports. We promise this summer will not let you down.

Hipster Menu Description (HMD) of Hannibal: The bad guy from Casino Royale, Morpheus, cruelty-free radicchio, Mr. Claire Danes, Prosciutto, murderous dream sequences, Top Chef-quality cannibalism, emmenthaler, and absolutely no fava beans or chianti.

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The following is an excerpt from a piece I wrote for ESPN TrueHoop's Valley of the Suns:

There is a reason most former players spend a decade or more as an assistant before becoming a head coach. To be effective, they have two cross two boundaries – one internal, one external. Internally, they have to divest themselves of their desire to play – not their desire to win and compete, just their desire to play. Coaches who were once players were almost always the type of players who gave 110% every night. This is definitely true of Hunter. Often that prevents players-turned-coaches from being able to understand, connect with, and get through to players who don’t give that type of effort. The problem that arises is that players who don’t always give maximum effort are the ones who need the most coaching. Former players turned coaches have to internally transition from being disappointed with those players to taking on the challenge of motivating them. Hunter’s comments in this piece by Kevin Zimmerman make it clear he is was still in the former state of mind.

The external boundary former players turned coaches have to cross is in the eyes of the players. Some guys in the NBA will respect whoever sits in the first seat on the bench because he’s their coach, and that’s how they roll. Others won’t respect a coach until he earns it. In the NBA, coaches earn respect with consistency, fairness, and above all, winning. Hunter, by all accounts, was consistent and fair. But the Suns were horrible this season. Hunter’s 12 wins didn’t gain him any respect.

Forbes recently published an article ranking the most loyal fans in the NBA. You'll never guess which NBA team's fan came out on top...

THE MIAMI FREAKIN' HEAT!

To properly discuss, refute, and ridicule this incredible miscarriage, the BallerBall crew - (Tim Baltz (@btimothe), Tyler Parker (@tpisme), Chris Trew (@christrew), and Jason Gallagher (@jgallagher41)
- let me join them for a hilarious 5-on-5.

Read the post at BallerBall.com

CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL FLASH ALERT!!!

 This is an urgent warning for physicians and hospitals across the country. As of 8:05 EST this morning, the CDC has raised the Epidemic Threat Level (EDL) to Robin’s Egg Blue. This is the second-highest threat level on the EDL scale (The highest threat level is Aubergine, which signals the Zombie Apocalypse.) Please make the necessary preparations.

The disease in question is Acute Tankorrhagic Fever (ATF).

Over the last month, the CDC has seen a sharp uptick in the number of reported cases of ATF, especially in professional basketball players. Even more concerning, the CDC believes there are many more cases going unreported, as hospital administrators and basketball front office personnel may be keeping cases of ATF quiet to prevent panic among fanbases.

There are several general conditions which raise the prevalence of ATF in a given area:

Read the rest at BallerBall.com

 

Estadio_Azteca

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I’m going to get this out of the way up front: this is a column about soccer. I make that pronouncement because A) the title is a bit ambiguous to non-soccer fans and B) tricking a soccer hater into reading a soccer column is a good way to get your ass kicked. For those of you about to close this page and return to Facebook to stalk the hot girl from your office, I urge you to give me just a few minutes of your time. I understand soccer hate, and I wouldn’t presume to judge you for it.

The United States played a match in Mexico City last night. It was one of 10 matches the team will play as they chase World Cup qualification. The final score was 0-0. How you feel about this match perfectly sums up how you feel about soccer as a sport. Guaranteed. There are four possible reactions to last night's game.

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When I was a boy, I wanted so badly to be a superhero. More specifically, I wanted to be one of the X-Men. I had my name and powers all picked out.

Mutant Dossier #21785

Name: Ryan Weisert

Power: The ability to copy anyone or anything. The subject can imitate any person’s voice. He can also copy digitally encoded objects such as credit cards, security keys, and compact discs.

Secondary Power: The ability to fly.

Clearly my powers would have been more useful in an Ocean’s Eleven-style heist than in a battle against Magneto, but nevertheless, I held out hope that one day superpowers would come to me.

They never did.

Eventually girls became more interesting than my desire to be a mutant and my dreams faded into memories.

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BillikenEditor's Note: This column is not intended to belittle, besmirch, or impugn the honor of Saint Louis University or its mascot. This is solely intended as a tribute. What I'm saying is, let's keep the angry mob stuff to a minimum. As always, scroll over content underlined in red for additional commentary.

The Saint Louis University Men’s Basketball team won their first-round game in the NCAA Tournament yesterday. Their victory prompted thousands of curious fans to rush to the interwebs and google SLU's mascot, the Billiken. What is a Billiken exactly? No one really knows, so last night we put our highly unpaid research staff to work. They poured over hundreds of dusty tomes, ancient scrolls, and Encarta CD-ROMs trying to find the answer. But, as so often happens with the esoteric research projects we give them, our little research nerdlings came up with a bevy of possible answers. Here are our favorites.

A Billiken Is…

1. A smiling little devil-Buddha which just so happens to be Catholic.
2. The pronunciation of “billy club” after being struck in the head by a billy club.
3. The original Beanie Baby.
4. What a sleepy Pope counts in lieu of sheep.
5. The patron saint of short-sellers, Pai Gow dealers, and lobbyists.

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A job in sports is a strange career pursuit. On its face, it covers a broad range of occupations from journalist to front office executive to mascot. Some people know exactly the job they want, while others’ draw to the sports world is more general. Some people have never loved anything like they love sports, and thus they’re not so much drawn to sports so much as they are repulsed by everything else.

“A job in sports” is a strange specificity of “doctor” or “lawyer.” This ambiguity forces it to be accompanied by an explanation or specific examples to adequately explain to Grandma why you’re still looking for a job in your mid-20s.

This career is very much the road less traveled, and as such, it’s very easy to think there are only a few people on it. This was my way of thinking exactly 30 seconds before I walked into the Boston Convention Center to attend the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference at the beginning of March. After I grabbed my media credential, and made my way upstairs, I soon realized this section of the road less traveled was essentially the 405 between the 101 and Sunset.

Read the rest at the SDSU Sports MBA Blog


Andray_Blatche

Editor’s Note: This is the second column in a series discussing Value Added in the NBA. Click here for Part I. Check back tomorrow for the third and final entry, Value Added Power Rankings. As always, scroll over content underlined in red for additional commentary.

The term “Most Valuable Player” is one of the most contentious and oft discussed terms among NBA fans and analysts. Whether they’re arguing about which player deserves the honor or what the definition of “value” really is, people can never seem to agree when the letters M-V-P are strung together. As part of this series on Value Added, I would like to weigh in on the MVP discussion. But instead of debating players’ candidacy quantitatively or qualitatively, I thought it best to examine things financially. Below is a list of the Top 15 most valuable players in terms of their Value Added and salary. Included in the list are the players’ total Value Added (updated through February 23rd), current annual salary, and cost per point of Value Added ($/VA).

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LeBron_Dunks

Editor’s Note: This is the first in a series of articles discussing Value Added in the NBA. Check back every day this week for the latest. As always, scroll over content underlined in red for additional commentary.

Every sport has a signature statistic. Baseball has WAR (Wins Above Replacement). Football has Quarterback Rating. Hockey has games lost to the lockout. In basketball, there is John Hollinger’s PER. PER has long been the gold standard of basketball stats. It holds weight where points per game falls short. It tells us why a dirty work player like Robin Lopez is more useful that a shoot-first guard like Monta Ellis. PER is not the end of the statistical road though. Taking it a step further - by accounting for minutes played – and PER becomes VA (Value Added). Value Added is basketball’s version of VORP (Value Over Replacement Player). VA estimates how many points any given player contributes to his team over a replacement-level player. VA totals accumulate over the course of the season. By controlling for games played (VA/GP), we can see how many points a player like LeBron James is worth on a nightly basis. Below is a list of the Top 15 players in VA/GP. Stats are updated through February 23rd.

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Editor’s Note: Discuss movies and Hollywood for long enough, and the Oscars are inevitably brought up. Though motion picture is an artistic medium, the Oscars are a way to keep score, rank one piece of art over another, and ultimately settle arguments between movie fans. In honor of this yearly cinematic scoreboard, Spectavius had our resident lady of leisure, Ms. MCD, and Editor-in-Chief Ryan Weisert exchange e-mails during the ceremony. The following are the highlights from their conversation. Enjoy and as always, scroll over content underlined in red for additional commentary.

Seth MacFarlane’s Opening

Ryan Weisert: Alright it's Oscar time. I think the most important question tonight is who will get annoying faster: Seth MacFarlane or the cast of Les Miserables?

Ms. MCD: I'm feeling very nervous about the lines Seth is comfortable crossing. Nothing is more uncomfortable than watching thousands of people feel uncomfortable.

MCD: I feel compelled, after this musical number about boobs, to ask whether children watch the Oscars?

RW: That is a very good question. Parents obviously don’t want their kids listening to a song celebrating boobs. The producers of the show are turning off a whole bunch of people with that song. How many American men are excited to hear the words, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Los Angeles Gay Men's Chorus?"

RW: The look on Naomi Watts' face during the song was almost enough to make me feel bad about seeing her topless. Almost.

MCD: We’re only 10 minutes in and I’m already sort of tired of the Seth-MacFarlane-likes-to-be-offensive theme. Let's move on to the MOVIES perhaps?

RW: You say that, but you have no idea how much Les Miserables there's about to be. So much singing Russell Crowe...

MCD: Only Tina and Amy could temper the pain of endless Les Mis. I hope the audience has limitless liquor.

RW: That's the beauty of the Golden Globes. Everybody is hammered because they're sitting at tables. The Oscars is basically a six hour movie in a really old theatre. Does that sound fun to you?

MCD: Only with liquor.

RW: Dear God, why is William Shatner here? This can't possibly go well.

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