Editor’s Note: Discuss movies and Hollywood for long enough, and the Oscars are inevitably brought up. Though motion picture is an artistic medium, the Oscars are a way to keep score, rank one piece of art over another, and ultimately settle arguments between movie fans. In honor of this yearly cinematic scoreboard, Spectavius had our resident lady of leisure, Ms. MCD, and Editor-in-Chief Ryan Weisert exchange e-mails during the ceremony. The following are the highlights from their conversation. Enjoy and as always, scroll over content underlined in red for additional commentary.
Seth MacFarlane’s Opening
Ryan Weisert: Alright it's Oscar time. I think the most important question tonight is who will get annoying faster: Seth MacFarlane or the cast of Les Miserables?
Ms. MCD: I'm feeling very nervous about the lines Seth is comfortable crossing. Nothing is more uncomfortable than watching thousands of people feel uncomfortable.
MCD: I feel compelled, after this musical number about boobs, to ask whether children watch the Oscars?
RW: That is a very good question. Parents obviously don’t want their kids listening to a song celebrating boobs. The producers of the show are turning off a whole bunch of people with that song. How many American men are excited to hear the words, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Los Angeles Gay Men's Chorus?"
RW: The look on Naomi Watts' face during the song was almost enough to make me feel bad about seeing her topless. Almost.
MCD: We’re only 10 minutes in and I’m already sort of tired of the Seth-MacFarlane-likes-to-be-offensive theme. Let's move on to the MOVIES perhaps?
RW: You say that, but you have no idea how much Les Miserables there's about to be. So much singing Russell Crowe...
MCD: Only Tina and Amy could temper the pain of endless Les Mis. I hope the audience has limitless liquor.
RW: That's the beauty of the Golden Globes. Everybody is hammered because they're sitting at tables. The Oscars is basically a six hour movie in a really old theatre. Does that sound fun to you?
MCD: Only with liquor.
RW: Dear God, why is William Shatner here? This can't possibly go well.